I’ve had a week now to process “5K” number 78, which was actually close to 15 miles, as it was a Spartan Beast. Even in the best conditions, the beast is not my favorite distance. It’s hard to train for because it means spending a lot of time on your feet and a big time commitment, so I only do a couple a year and I am always undertrained for them. Now, having said that, there was NO way to train for the conditions this race delivered to us. Sure, I can spend 7 hours in 40 degree rain, but why would I? No where can I find a place where I can climb up and down hills covered with 6-8 inch deep mud.
Seriously, the entire course was 6-8 inch deep mud. There was really no way to even WALK fast on this course. And, WOW, steady rain and about 40 degrees for the entire race. To say that it was miserable was an understatement. I generally love the Spartan racing atmosphere because there is such great camaraderie between racers and the open racers all help one another and cheer each other on. Not to say it wasn’t happening at all, but this race was different. The conditions were so miserable that everyone was just trying to survive and be as pleasant as possible in the given conditions. It should have been a clue to me when the kids who were finishing their race as we were starting ours looked miserable and several of them were crying.
I almost always race with my race wife. She knows how I like to be spotted on obstacles and how to motivate me and we compliment each other well out on the course. She wanted to try the longest distance race, which was about 30 miles (the Ultra) and I was like, “well, don’t let me stop you.” So, that basically meant I had to make new friends if I hoped to have someone to race with. And I DID make new friends and I enjoyed racing with them, but this race was even harder for me without my race wife.
I was cold and the conditions were rough from the start of the race. There was a hill we all had to go down in the first half mile or so that was so slick and muddy that 95% of the people went down on their butts and were totally out of control as they did. And there were rocks and sticks and roots. As we slowed to a crawl to try to get down this hill, I wondered if I could complete the race within the given time limit. I hadn’t packed a head lamp because I figured that 8 hours was plenty of time, but now I wasn’t too sure. I made the decision on this hill, which I later learned that someone broke their leg trying to traverse, that I wasn’t returning for a second day of racing. I tore holes in the ass of my pants on this hill as the rocks, roots and sticks slammed into my butt. After the first hill, though my butt was basically numb for the rest of the race.
Now, let’s talk about the obstacles. I failed most of them. Even in the best of race conditions, there are several that I failed, but I failed things that I have NEVER FAILED BEFORE. For instance, the atlas stone was buried so deep in mud by the time that I got there and my hands were so numb and muscles functioning so poorly that when I bent over to try to roll the stone out of the deep hole it was in, my legs cramped up and I leaned forward a bit too much and face planted into the mud.
Because I want this blog to encourage people to get out and get healthy, and definitely to try out obstacle course races, I won’t be any more negative about this race. But it did suck. Most Spartan races do not suck, but there is no way around the fact that this one did. And more than half of the people that attempted the race didn’t finish. This is the kind of race that finds ALL of the nagging injuries and sorenesses you have and pounds, pulls and pushes on them. I have a chronically sore/tight right hamstring and was nursing a REALLY sore right groin in this race. In an ordinary Spartan race, I can modify my gait slightly when things start to fatigue and hurt (I know, I know…..it’s bad to modify your gait). In the race, there was so much slipping and sliding and involuntary muscle contraction related to the terrain that everything that was sore or hurt was exacerbated.
But, I finished and earned my Spartan 2X Trifecta for the year:

And here’s my Spartan haul of the year:

My face in this photo, taken just before the finish line in the race, is a great illustration of how the entire race felt:

Yes, those just might be tears of mud running down my cheeks.
This is Rob (a new friend who I met and raced with……he kept me going because I didn’t want to let him down) and I at the “Victory Wall.” We managed to smile after a grueling race:

And yes, he’s wearing a garment that started as a hazmat suit, but morphed into a lab coat/cape during the course of the race. It was thin and he thought about shedding it when it started to shred, but it was providing warmth that he wasn’t willing to part with.
And, finally, we will call this race, nearly 15 miles of slop:

If you aren’t questioning your life decisions, at least a few times a year, are you really living, y’all?